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When it is time to end a playdate, give a warning such as “One more turn on the swings and then we have to say goodbye.” Do not give in to the child’s plea for more time on the swings, or you will lose credibility and have a harder time getting them to do what you need them to do the next time you make a request. For example, if your child asks you for a cookie right before dinner, you might respond “You can have that for dessert if you still have room after we eat”.You don’t need to go into why sugar is bad, and how too many cookies will make him fat, etc.Fair discipline means the consequence fits the unwanted behavior. Longer Time Outs for larger infractions, shorter ones for smaller infractions (and very young children).The child needs to hear what the consequence is before you apply it so they know what to expect and it makes sense to them. Apply discipline using a firm but non-threatening communication style.A child who grows up in a home where rules are inconsistently applied grows up to distrust others. If three is reached and the request has not been acted upon, enact the consequences.When working with your child to change an unwanted behavior, such as teasing her brother or not sitting still at the table, look for gradual changes.No child has ever changed unwanted behavior into wanted behavior because they were told they were lazy or messy or loud.

No child has ever starved because they refused to eat your delicious casserole.Your child will not give up the unwanted behavior overnight.Reward each time you “catch” your child exhibiting the wanted behavior so that it becomes habit eventually.Whatever you feel is significant to both of you, make sure you spend quality time with your child each day.It is extremely important that your child realizes that you and your spouse are a united front.

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