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For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.This should be time you have alone perhaps when the children are in bed and to make sure it is distraction free (with the computer and TV turned off).Though it may be painful, the fact that you have started talking about issues is a good sign.To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).It wouldn’t have been as bad if he was just accessing porn, as I know men do this, but the fact that he was talking to other people has really disgusted me.I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him.AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.Relationship counselling agencies report that a growing number of couples are now seeking help due to infidelity online or to one partner accessing adult websites.

Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.

Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful.

Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.

At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.

A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.

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