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However, I eventually realized that it’s not my responsibility to shoulder all of that alone — there were doctors, therapists, family and friends he could lean on for help, too.
Eventually things just got too hard and I knew I couldn’t stay.
I searched obsessively for ways to help him recognize his moods and ways to reassure him about medications and their side effects, but nothing I said convinced him in the slightest.
You can go in with good intentions to help your partner when he’s struggling, if he doesn’t choose to get treatment and help himself, there’s usually nothing you can do about it.
He would always come out the other side grateful that I had let him work through it on his own. I was much happier once I realized that his depressive moods didn’t mean I had to be miserable to match.
If he didn’t want to go out, I didn’t have to stay in to keep him company.
However, sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to just be there. Before or after depressive episodes, people with bipolar disorder get episodes of mania or hypomania.
For my ex, these were periods of great excitement and focus.
He cared about me enough to know that I wasn’t ignoring him and that I still cared, but that I had responsibilities and things to accomplish outside of our relationship that I couldn’t neglect. I remember vividly one moment when my ex walked away from his desk and sat down next to me to watch the Olympic opening ceremonies I had on.Instead, things he usually enjoyed just served as reminders to him of how terrible he felt.No matter what you do, you can never make another person happy, and while that’s hard to accept, it’s not personal.There’s no use worrying about the future — you have to enjoy the moment.Instead of getting caught up on the moon he’d just been in or worrying about when the next change would strike, I just cuddled up to him and enjoyed the moment we were in.