Young singles contemporary dating scripts

So one important point to understand right up front (and about which many inside and outside the church are confused) is that we have not moved a dating system into our courtship system.

We spend so much of our time waiting, searching, and going through the motions of dating until we find what we're looking for. One of them may have the best sense of humor; the other may be incredibly witty and smart.

The situation feels hopeless until, suddenly, you're on a great first date, and that turns into a second. But you keep your options open; you commit to a date with someone else ... This hardly seems fair to you -- and to the two men you're seeing.

You've spent so much time being a single girl -- only to be dealt two different aces at once.

For social scientists, studies of courtship usually look at the process of “mate selection.” (Social scientists, among whom I number myself from time to time, will never be accused of being romantics.) For the purpose of this article the , prior to the early 20th century, courtship involved one man and one woman spending intentional time together to get to know each other with the expressed purpose of evaluating the other as a potential husband or wife.

The man and the woman usually were members of the same community, and the courting usually was done in the woman’s home in the presence (and under the watchful eye) of her family, most often Mom and brothers.